Dark Quests (Three Screenplays) Read online

  truth be known.

  Trey is about to speak, but the Camerlengo moves on. Although intrigued, Trey reluctantly leaves the scalpel behind. And as the group passes various swords and staffs and other ancient relics, the Camerlengo rattles off their names:

  CAMERLENGO

  The Staff of Aaron. The Sword of St. Peter—

  yes, the one he used to remove the centurion’s

  ear. A wooden stake from the True Cross.

  Vampires beware. The Dagger of Sinan—

  yes, the Old Man of the Mountains, leader

  of the Assassins. The Spear of Achilles.

  (a beat)

  Ah, here we go. I assume you will be

  intimately familiar with our next display.

  Trey looks inside the glass case. Suspended within is the Staff of St. Patrick. Trey shudders.

  TREY

  (swallowing hard)

  As you like to say, let’s move on.

  Fittingly, they come to the last display. Inside, hanging at an angle and gleaming dully is a long iron nail. Almost as big as a stake, the nail is crudely made, although surprisingly rust-free. A leather strap is looped through a hole at the head of the nail.

  CAMERLENGO

  The Fourth Nail. Have you heard its tale?

  TREY

  What thief hasn’t? We all know that

  Christ was nailed to the cross with

  three nails. But there was to be a fourth.

  Stolen by a gypsy.

  CAMERLENGO

  Thus sparing Christ some pain, and granting

  the Gypsies clemency for the sin of stealing for

  all eternity.

  TREY

  That’s the part I like. I am, after all,

  a gypsy at heart.

  The Camerlengo ignores him and instead mutters his secret prayer, and as he does so, the glass door swings silently open. The Vatican official reaches slowly inside and carefully removes the sacred nail.

  CAMERLENGO

  The Fourth Nail is the only defense against the

  Judas Coins.

  Now he slips the leather strap reverently over Trey’s head. The nail hangs down just inside the thief’s shirt, now concealed.

  TREY

  It’s cold.

  (shivers)

  So what do I do with it? Nail the

  bastard to death? Does it come

  with a hammer?

  CAMERLENGO

  Rather than making jokes, Mr. Jordan,

  perhaps you should pray for guidance.

  TREY

  Pray for me, father. I’m a little rusty.

  Kind of like this nail.

  EXT. DOWNTOWN PHILADELPHIA – DAY

  This is the old downtown section of Philly, with its ancient brick and plaster buildings. Lots of old shops. Rain is coming down softly. The wet sidewalks are mostly empty. TIGHT on an old sign hanging over a glass door: “PENNIES FROM HEAVEN.”

  INT. A SMALL COIN SHOP – DAY

  It’s a two-story shop, with a stairway that leads up to an office above. EVE FRIDAY, the woman we met earlier—the same woman who had awakened from a nightmare and had removed a Judas Coin from her safe—is working behind a glass display case, helping a customer.

  And not just any customer. The guy looks like a weasel. Or a rat. Long overcoat. Black hair, neat goatee, small, twitchy features. He speaks to her contemptuously, his words enunciated crisply.

  MAN

  (pointing)

  That one there.

  Eve opens the display case and removes a gold coin contained in a protective plastic sleeve.

  MAN

  How much?

  EVE

  Seventy-eight hundred.

  MAN

  Remove it from the sleeve.

  Eve carefully removes the glistening coin. The man holds out his hand. She reluctantly drops it in his palm, watching him closely. He holds it up to his face, grinning broadly. He turns the coin over and over in his pale fingers.

  MAN

  Yes...yes...very nice.

  As the coin turns, something very imperceptible happens. The coin disappears very briefly. Or so Eve thinks. She’s not sure. Once again, the coin appears and turns around and around between his thumb and forefinger, as if nothing had happened. Eve frowns, catches her breath. The man looks at her, grinning darkly. The coin stops rotating. He hands it back to her quickly.

  MAN

  Very nice, but I’ve seen better.

  Eve looks at the proffered coin. Gleaming it looks as nice as ever. But she suddenly frowns.

  MAN

  Go on, take it. I don’t want it anymore.

  Eve is breathing deeply, chest rising rapidly under her “University of Philadelphia” sweatshirt. TIGHT ON Eve’s hand, as her fingers inconspicuously reach inside a drawer under her counter. And as Eve holds out her hand for the coin, two things happen very quickly: 1) She grabs the man’s hand and pulls him across the counter. 2) And shoves a very small pistol into the man’s rat-like face. Her finger tightens around the trigger.

  EVE

  I hate thieves.

  (a beat)

  I really hate thieves.

  MAN

  What the hell are you doing?

  EVE

  Give me back my coin!

  MAN

  I don’t have your fucking—

  EVE

  Move, and I blow your fucking

  brains out!

  Silence. Both are motionless. Neither blinks. The door opens to the shop. A little bell jingles. Footsteps walk slowly over the wooden floor, which creaks loudly. Neither acknowledge the unknown customer, who pauses just behind them.

  UNKNOWN CUSTOMER

  So much for the customer always

  being right.

  MAN

  This bitch has gone crazy.

  DIPPING DOWN INTO FRAME is Trey Jordan’s smooth-shaven, handsome face. He cleans up well, now sharply dressed. Trey leans over the counter, his face just inches from the weaselly man, who’s now sweating profusely.

  TREY

  Let me guess: you palmed a coin.

  The man says nothing. Although his eyes now shift uneasily from Eve to Trey. Trey gives him a big, shit-eating grin. The man doesn’t answer, and so Trey allows his gaze to flick over to Eve. The beautiful shop owner doesn’t turn away from the man, but allows her head to nod once.

  TREY

  Oldest trick in the book.

  Trey suddenly grabs a handful of the man’s shirt.

  TREY

  You can put the gun away, Eve. Women

  and guns make me nervous. In exactly

  that order.

  Eve slowly lowers the gun, exhaling loudly. A thin film of sweat coats her upper lip and brow. Now Trey goes to work. He rips open the man’s trench coat, reaches inside, and digs into a hidden pocket. The man fights back, but Trey promptly head-butts his nose, breaking it. Blood spills down the man’s chin.

  MAN

  Christ, you broke my nose!

  Trey ignores him, still rooting around in the pocket. Finally, he removes his hand triumphantly.

  TIGHT ON Trey’s hand, as he slowly opens it. The same gleaming golden coin is there. This one the real deal.

  TREY

  Eve, give me the gun. I’ll show him

  what we do with thieves here.

  EVE

  Just don’t make a mess this time.

  I hate cleaning up all the blood.

  She hands the pistol over without question, trusting him completely. The man’s eyes dart crazily. He’s utterly freaked. Trey holds the gun up to the man’s head.

  MAN

  Please. Please, no!

  TREY

  Just take it like a man.

  Now there’s a small splashing sound from below. Trey looks down. So does Eve. The man is pissing himself.

  EVE

  Oh, gross.

  TREY

  Let’s get this over with.

  The man pulls h
imself away, screaming and, slipping in his own urine, bolts for the front door. He fumbles with the door, takes a final look back at Trey, who’s tracking him from behind the sights of the hand gun, grinning.

  TREY

  Bang!

  The thief squeals and throws open the door. He dashes off down the street and out of sight. Trey lowers the gun, chuckling to himself. The man, he sees, has left wet footprints all the way to the door. A mop suddenly smacks Trey in the shoulder.

  EVE

  You scared the piss out of him.

  Now you get to clean it up.

  EXT. DOWNTOWN PHILLY – NIGHT

  Trey and Eve are walking casually through the mostly-empty streets in a steady summer rain in the dark of night. Trey is holding an umbrella over the two of them. Eve is close to him, her hand lightly holding his forearm.

  TREY

  Usually takes a thief to catch a thief.

  You did good work back there.

  EVE

  I’m still trembling. What an asshole.

  TREY

  Me or him?

  EVE

  Depends. Are you still a thief?

  TREY

  I plead the Fifth.

  They are silent, walking in the rain.

  TREY

  There was a time when you

  didn’t think I was so bad.

  EVE

  I was young...and stupid.

  Now I’m old and not so stupid.

  TREY

  I’m not here to change your opinion of me.

  EVE

  Then why are you here?

  TREY

  I’m here for the Judas Coin.

  TIGHT ANGLE on Eve’s reaction to this news. She whips her head around, eyes narrowing, the hint of smoldering fire just behind her pupils.

  INT. COFFEE SHOP – NIGHT

  Rain drifts just outside the brightly lit coffee shop window. Trey and Eve sit opposite each other in a back booth. Before them are steaming mugs of coffee. Eve wraps both hands around hers and sips it. Trey, for the most part, ignores his.

  EVE

  It’s not for sale.

  TREY

  I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

  EVE

  I don’t want your stolen money.

  TREY

  The money isn’t stolen. At least I don’t think it is.

  It’s all legit. The people I work for will pay enough

  for you to retire comfortably. For ten of you

  to retire comfortably.

  EVE

  I don’t want to retire. I love my shop.

  And who are you working for?

  TREY

  You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

  EVE

  Try me.

  EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT

  Back on the streets, walking in the rain.

  EVE

  But why does the Vatican want the coin?

  As she speaks, there’s a hint of panic and paranoia in her voice. She seems unreasonably upset by the fact Trey has come for the coin, and that others might be interested in it, as well. It’s clear that she does not want to give it up.

  TREY

  Not just the one coin. They want all thirty Judas Coins.

  There’s some nut job out there who’s looking for them.

  They want me to beat him to the punch.

  (a beat)

  You haven’t by any chance touched the

  coin have you?

  Eve looks away, biting her lower lip. Something flashes in her eyes, something unnatural and possessive, but then it disappears again. Trey watches her curiously.

  TREY

  Tell me you didn’t touch it, Eve.

  Eve noticeably changes the subject.

  EVE

  The coin is not for sale, Trey. To you, or to the

  Vatican, or to anyone else. I keep it for

  sentimental reasons, you know that.

  TREY

  Your father’s plane crash...

  EVE

  It was found in his hand. The last thing

  he ever touched. And before you say it,

  the coin did not cause his plane to crash, Trey.

  I refuse to believe that.

  More silence. More walking.

  TREY

  My father is alive, Eve.

  EVE

  But you told me he had died in prison.

  TREY

  That’s the official story. Unofficially he’s still alive

  and dying in prison. If I help them, they will let me

  see him one last time.

  (a beat)

  I need your help, Eve. Please.

  EVE

  (she thinks long and hard)

  I’m sorry, Trey. I just can’t. I’m sorry.

  EXT. OUTSIDE "PENNIES FROM HEAVEN" – NIGHT

  Trey and Eve are approaching her coin shop. As they do so, Eve suddenly points up. Through her darkened store window, we see the streaking beam of what appears to be a flashlight.

  EVE

  Someone’s in my shop!

  EXT. COIN SHOP, BACK ALLEY – NIGHT

  A man wearing a ski mask and dressed in black is standing in front of the coin shop’s back entrance holding an assault rifle, watching the alleyway in both directions. He hears a sudden scraping sound. He swings his rifle around. Too late.

  Trey drops down from the fire escape, swinging athletically, kicking the man full in the face. Trey lands lightly, and punches the man hard in the jaw, knocking him out cold. Trey promptly drags the body back into the shadows. Just as he picks up the assault rifle, a lithe shadow approaches him rapidly. Trey instinctively swings the rifle around—but the shadow materializes into the beautiful Eve Friday.

  TREY

  (whispering, hissing)

  I told you to wait for me.

  EVE

  This is my shop.

  Trey holds up the man’s assault rifle.

  TREY

  These guys play for keeps, kiddo.

  EVE

  I’m coming with you. And don’t call me kiddo.

  TREY

  Fine. Stay low and keep behind me.

  INT. COIN SHOP – NIGHT

  Two thieves dressed in black and wearing ski masks, ruthlessly tear apart the shop, desperately searching. They overturn furniture, pull down shelves. As one heads upstairs, his flashlight happens across the safe.

  THIEF

  Bingo.

  INT. COIN SHOP, DOWNSTAIRS – NIGHT

  Trey steps into the back room, Eve right behind him. Moonlight filters through the big storefront windows. As Trey creeps toward the main showroom, a man dressed in black appears from around a corner, swinging a metal rod. The rod catches Trey in the shoulder, and sends him spinning into a glass display case. As he crashes through, Trey’s semi-automatic weapon inadvertently goes off. Bullets rattle out and shatter the track lighting above him.

  The light fixture, now spitting sparks, breaks loose from the ceiling and crashes onto Eve’s cluttered desk. One such spark catches some paperwork on fire, and in seconds, her whole desk goes up in flames. Eve, who had been hanging around in the background, suddenly dashes through the shop.

  EVE

  No!

  She grabs a fire extinguisher from behind the counter. She blasts the fire, but, with kindling everywhere, it spreads through the old shop too quickly. Still, she does her best to put out the fire.

  CUT TO:

  Trey and the burglar. The man with the iron swings it again, but this time Trey ducks. Reaching blindly in the dark, he grabs a burlap sack that says “U.S. PENNIES”. He swings it hard into his attacker’s face. The bag explodes in a hail of pennies. His assailant goes down like a rock.

  INT. EVE’S OFFICE – NIGHT

  Two burglars place plastic explosives around the dial of Eve’s office safe. Next, they expertly attach a detonator.

  INT. COIN SHOP – NIGHT

  A loud explosion suddenly rocks the entir
e shop.

  EVE

  The safe!

  INT. EVE’S OFFICE – NIGHT

  One of the thieves reaches into the now blown-open safe and removes the same leather satchel we had seen earlier. He opens it and dumps out the single Judas Coin. The man stares at it, turning it over and over in his gloved hand...

  INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT

  Trey leads the way up to the second floor offices, with Eve right behind him. Below, the fire is everywhere—even snaking up along the banister. Suddenly, two figures appear at the head of the stairs. Trey swings his rifle up, takes aim.

  TREY

  Stop!

  But they both jump over the balustrade, land hard on the ground below. They find their feet and dash off. As they do so, one picks up a burning stool and hurls it through the storefront window. The other looks back at Trey and removes his ski mask. It’s O’Brien, the Irish thief we met earlier. Trey’s mouth drops open. O’Brien grins and winks, and dashes off through the broken window.